A ship owned and operated by the Clinton Foundation was raided as it arrived from Africa this morning at the Port of Baltimore. The ship, which was supposed to be carrying “emergency supplies,” was actually carrying a cargo that had authorities stunned. BPA Harbormaster Jake Cummings explained to CNN:
“We received a tip that the Clinton Foundation flagship, The Chelsea, was carrying illegal contraband into the United States. We honestly didn’t know what to expect, but what we found was simply…surreal. In the middle of the ship’s large manifest of containers, most of which were empty, we found 14 containing…people. Yes, people.
They were all Refugees from places like Yemen and Syria and not a single one had any kind of documentation. We interviewed those who spoke English and were told that for $40K, anyone can catch a ride to the United States on a ship nobody would ever suspect.”
Immigration was immediately called and found that of the 460 people on board illegally, not one had been through any kind of vetting process. After running the men through facial recognition, they found more than a dozen suspected terrorists who are on the US no-fly list. Those men were about to be unleashed on the public for $40K each.
A spokesman for the Clinton Foundation denied that the Foundation was involved and promised that they would get to the bottom of the situation.
Two other containers were also found to contain multiple crates of contraband, including illegal fruits that could potentially carry foreign insects and foodborne illnesses, weapons without serial numbers on them and no less than 30 pounds of marijuana. Several of the refugees were also found to be in possession of black tar heroin, an addictive, smokable form of the drug.
Surely the Clintons will manage to weasel their way out of any charges, but at least for now their ships are on the radar. The Foundation said it will recall all 11 of its boats for inspection as soon as they finish their current missions.