BREAKING: Body Found In Clinton Guest House Fire

Earlier today, reports of a fire at the Clinton property in Chappaqua, New York spread quickly across the internet. The home on fire was their newly acquired guest house, which was on an adjacent property to the main Clinton compound. The house was to be for Chelsea and her family when they came to visit.

Now it lay in ruins, completely engulfed in flames while the Clintons watched from the front porch. Bill, who seems clueless about just about everything these days, called 911 and reported the fire. Hillary, stern and unwaveringly silent, sits in a rocking chair beside him, drinking lemonade.

Their mood changed when the fire department was able to save a back corner of the house which, ironically, is where the fire started. the Westchester County Arson Squad lead investigator explains what they found:

“The fire began with an accelerant obviously meant to conceal a body. The arsonist made one big mistake, though, and didn’t secure the explosion in the right direction. The area he wanted burned the most is the one that burned the least.”

In other words, authorities now have a corpse to work with. Had it been done properly, according to the Fire Chief, there would have been nothing left.

Suddenly, the Clintons decided it was time to go inside. When investigators went to the door, they were met by their lawyer and told to either file a charge, come back with a warrant, or no comment.

Investigators are going to work as quickly as possible to identify the victim, who is said to be a white female in her mid-20s. We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.